Super Secret Blog Confession

Today at work I was my doing my usual hour of slacking, I mean, scanning news stories for an hour when I found this article: http://www.campusprogress.org/books/3468/dont-trust-anyone-over-30. As I was reading it I thought to myself, "yeah there are a lot of dumbass people out there under 30, but I was also like whoa bra I take offense to that, my generation isn't the dumbest!"

That was until I saw this unholy abomination:

Now, I have to admit there was a time when I was all about the Real World. I watched all the challenges (I may or may not still watch them, don't judge me!), I knew all my favorite cast members, hell, I was even sad when Road Rules was cancelled. Then you get to be the age of the cast members you watched and your like really? Now, I can't even stand to look at this. Are you serious MTV? Look at those idiots. It's best to stop watching this show once you surpass the average age of its participants. At 23, I'm officially too old to watch the Real World. But, if you managed to watch the whole video there is an amazingly awful part where the douchiest guy out of all of them says to his skank of the moment: "You're so hot, it's retarded." I just found my new pick up line, ya'll. Thanks America's dumbest generation, you're awesome.

So Random

Random Blog question:

How will the world end?

a) Terminators
b) Swine Flu
c) Aliens vs. Predators
or
d) all of the above in one ultimate showdown....

I've been hustling a long time...

I know it's been awhile blog. Here is what's been going down.

I have a job now (look at those clouds open up and listen to those angels sing) and it literally happened overnight. It hasn't been easy making the adjustment from playing Super Mario Brothers 3 everyday to actually going into an office everyday and being a professional. I've been ready to start work ever since I graduated (almost a year to the day... Jesus), but you do get used to a sweatpants wearing, slump-like way of life when you don't get into a routine. Well, I guess that is your routine. Anyway, the point is that it's been great and weird at the same time.

I have a cubicle-esqe nook that I work in making cold calls to people who are very angry, deadlines, and my very own stapler. Yes, it is just like Office Space. I'm not even trying to be a sarcastic punk, I'm so happy to have a job, it's just...weird. The good news is it's Friday tomorrow and I officially survived my first week. Only a million more to go!*

*Unless I make my fortune via some scheme I am most likely cooking up right now.

Million dollar idea?

For anyone who knows the Hudson Valley area you may know that there are some seriously creepy areas around here. One area that always weirds me out is route 9w going past Indian Point, which creepily enough is a massive power plant. You have to pass through all these small towns and there is always only one other car on the road or none at all. So, you basically feel like if your car breaks down there you are screwed. At the same time, it is a nice scenic route so I often choose to drive up this way if I can.

Yesterday, I was driving home from my brother's house and sure enough I chose this way to come home. This time there were zero cars on the road and it was a dark and cloudy day. Real scary movie weather. I'm traveling through the windy roads and I see something that catches my eye on the side of the road like a flash. One white sneaker. It was right by a heavily wooded area and just chilling there. Where was the other sneaker? Whose was it? Did a jogger get hit by a car and only his sneaker remained? Was someone disposing of this sneaker? Why was it there? These were all questions that popped into my mind and at that moment I wished I was a writer like Stephen King, because you know he could turn something like a lone sneaker on the side of the road into a million dollar novel. Damn.

Meetup and Get Out

Recently, I've been thinking about my time in England and how much I miss traveling. I feel really lucky that I was even able to go to another country. I hope that one day I'll be able to see all the places I've dreamed about visiting. I might be dreaming for a looooong time. Unfortunately, my budget is a little tight for traveling right now, but whose isn't? Also, it's not really the most appropriate time in my life to be gallivanting across the country, but that is another story. So, I've had to discover some less expensive ways to cure my travel bug. As my blog is so aptly named, I'm going to share a "recession-proof" travel tip with you right now.

I live in the Hudson Valley area of New York and it really is a beautiful place. Sometimes, we take the places we grow up in for granted because they are always there. We may overlook what visitors to the area may find beautiful. Sometimes, you have to look with a traveler's eye. With that being said, I discovered a great site called Meetup. The whole purpose of using the site is to connect people in person to give them a break from the computer. At Meetup, you can sign up for any group of your interest for free and you get to meet new people, try new things,and travel to different places. Even if the different places are local, it's still a new discovery. I signed up for a hiking group and my first meetup is next week. I'm pretty excited to discover new mountains to hike. I feel like the traveler in me will be able to rediscover the Hudson Valley.

*Blogger's note: Now, I know that meeting people off of the internet can be a little scary, but I've done my research and I've only heard good things. Obviously, there is always a risk involved so stay safe. If something doesn't seem right it probably isn't.

New Discovery

When I'm at the gym I need music to run with because I lack the motivation to go more than a mile if I don't have anything with a beat. I usually stick to listening to bands like Muse when I workout because well, they are awesome. Lately though, I've been letting my shuffle setting on the Ipod run wild and I usually end up listening to ridiculous songs like, "Good Vibrations" by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. There is a point to this blog I promise. My recent kickass workout song discovery is, "We didn't start the fire" by a Mr. Billy Joel. I'm serious. You are learning history and burning cals at the same time. The next time you are working out, try it. I bet you will be so surprised at how much it amps you up. Plus, no one at the gym will mess with you because you are super intensely listening to this song and people will be weirded out. It's win-win.

Don't worry about that hole in the backyard, it's only the gate to hell.

The other night I was flipping through some movie channels when I came across a movie that used to really scare me when I was younger. I'm talking about The Gate. The plot is pretty simple: A young Stephen Dorff plays a kid who discovers that a hole in his backyard is actually a gateway for demons to come on out and frolick (cause you know demons be frolicking)in our world. After his friend Terry (who is the token nerd), plays a metal album backwards and they conveniently have to bury the family pet(which acts as a sacrifice)in a hole in the backyard, they awaken demonic spirits which destroy the home and try to kill them! Simple. Seriously though, I'm not doing it justice. The idea of it is actually really scary and although the graphics are kind of cheesy, I think the movie still holds up. I still jumped a couple of times while re-watching it.




Those monsters were total jerks. I believe the whole movie is uploaded on YouTube. It's definitely worth a watch.

Oh the 80's

80's music is awesomely bad. The lyrics make no sense, the beats are futuristic and weird, and the videos are insane. That's why I love it. It's embarrassing to admit, but 80's music would have to be my guilty pleasure. So, with that being said, I've been watching the "100 Greatest One Hit Wonders" on Vh1 this week and I decided to make my own list of my favorite 80's songs. Here are what I believe to be the quintessential "members only" decade tunes:

1. A-Ha- "Take On Me"



When I first saw the video I really liked the comic book coming to life and it has an awesome beat.

2. Hall and Oates - "You Make My Dreams Come True"



LOOK AT THIS VIDEO. What kind of craziness is this? There is nothing more 80's than this song. Whenever I hear it I think of Adam Sandler movies, cause its the type of song that would be in one. Also, I'm pretty sure my Dad had the same moustache as Hall or Oates. I don't remember which one is which.

3. Modern English- "I Melt With You"



You know it's 80's when the budget for the video looks like it was $25 dollars. Great song.

4. Peter Gabriel- "Sledge Hammer"



You know this video BLOWS YOUR MIND!


5. Tears For Fears- "Everybody Wants To Rule The World"




Best Beat of the 80's. Holla.

Obviously, this was a hard top five because there are a billion 80's songs out there. I'm just scratching the surface people. Feel free to comment on any you think I may have missed.

I'm not a hater!

I was reading my last post and I thought it sounded a little too angry. You may think I hate the internet judging by that entry, but I don't. I just think it gets out of hand sometimes and people take the internet too seriously. I like to think of it in terms of Uncle Ben, "With great power comes great responsibility." Remember that internet. We have so much information at the touch of our fingertips, but now we also have a slew of problems. Identity theft, computer virus's, machines rising up and killing us in our sleep... you know, that kinda thing. I can't hate on the internet though. It makes me laugh. Besides, if I was totally against the internet I wouldn't be able to find things like this:



All I can say is my brothers and sister-in-law's better watch out. I think I just found your anniversary gifts. Happy webjunk hunting!

Is Twitter the new portal of evil?

Twitter. Where do I begin? You know, it's bad enough that I am on Facebook, LinkedIn, and I have a blog, so why in God's name do I need a Twitter account? In case you don't know Twitter is a new social networking site, or as the creators describe it, "a free social messaging utility for staying connected in real-time." Why? What is next? We are all going to get the internet hooked up to our veins? "Dude, I'm texting you every time my heart beats!"

That's not even the worst part. Not only are us regular people on it, but celebs are too. Totally awesome! Again, I ask why? Why do I need to know that Matthew McConaughey is eating a ham sandwich right at this moment? Or that Ashton Kutcher is totally in love with his "hot wifey, Demi Moore?" Yes, he calls her wifey I know this because his Twitter page made the headlines of Yahoo news. Because of this ridiculousness I am pronouncing Twitter as the new portal of evil.

So, as you can see, I am very bewildered by this site. I just don't get it. Honestly, I don't think that I am interesting enough to be "tweet-ing" every thing I do at every second. I can tell you right now: I'm in my sweat pants, drinking coffee, and job hunting online. Mystery solved. This was all until a friend of mine messaged me and told me she found a job via Twitter. What now?

This friend of mine, we will call her "Joan" just for kicks, said she was against Twitter as well, but was curious about it. "Joan" signed up and found this group on it called, "Women Who Launch." So, she started emailing one of the directors of the group and sent her resume. She was offered a position. Say what? Now, I am very happy for her, but I am kind of scared as well. She was my last comrade from my graduating class who was just as confused about life after college as me. Obviously, my social networking skills are not up to par because I'm pretty sure my emails to people are sent directly to their spam folders and they scan my calls so they are sent to voicemail. ("Shit, it's that Schultz person again, DENIED!") That's what it seems like any way. So, should I make a Twitter page, even though it's the portal of evil? Or, should I just keep sending out resumes every day hoping someone notices? You have to work hard and be agressive to achieve your goals, but how far is too far I wonder?

Remember when the internet didn't exist? Yeah, I don't either.

What

I am addicted to the site videogum. Seriously, I spend way too much time on there just laughing at the screen. It's creepy. Anyway, I recently found this gem of a posting on the site.

Apparently, there is a movie coming out that is being described as, "An Epic Musical Romantic Adventure set in a mystical island kingdom where horses reign and birds keep watch." Yes. The Epic Musical Romantic Adventure (actual description) is the project of "Emmy Award Winning Composer Michael J. Lewis." This is going to be a FEATURE FILM. Made by someone who has an EMMY. What? I can't even talk about it anymore. I present to you the epic, "You Make My Day." Yes, the name of the movie is "You Make My Day." Yup.



Screw Make My Day, this Makes My Year.

Birthday

This past weekend was my Birthday. I turned twenty-three in case you were wondering blog. It was a really fun time, but only because of Mr. Spoons.

Yes, Mr. Spoons.

I started my evening by going to see "I Love You, Man." It was hilarious.
After the movie, it was still early and my friend and I were kind of bored so we thought of some stuff to do. Where could we go to have a few drinks and watch people sing classic eighties songs through the art of karaoke? Gloria's Griddle Grill in New Windsor of course!

Gloria's has karaoke every Saturday night and this week was their big contest. Everyone who sang was pretty average, until I saw a glittering in the corner of my eye. I heard the announcer say with pride beaming in his voice, "Can we get Mr. Spoons up to the stage please?" Out walks something from every child's nightmare.

A man, about eighty, wearing a top hat and a glitter vest saunters up to the stage. He will be singing "Sweet Georgia Brown." Just imagine any vaudeville type song you have ever heard in your life.

All of a sudden the crowd is swept back to the roaring twenties and that's when it happens. Mr. Spoons breaks out his playing spoons and starts banging on the tables. All you hear from the audience is chants of: "You're killing em' spoons", "Play them Spoons!", and then just shouts of "SPOONS, SPOONS, SPOONS!" I don't know if it was my drink, but I didn't know if what I was seeing was real. It was just one of those things that happens in this town that will probably never occur any where else. All my friend and I could do was laugh and chant "Spoons" with everyone else.

p.s. He has a website: http://mrspoons.com/

First Entry

I don't know about you, but I am really tired of hearing the phrase "recession- proof." That baby is everywhere. I love how the media picks up on something such as "recession-proof" and bam all of sudden you have to "recession-proof" your house. Or if you go shopping you are no longer called a "fashionista" (That word is ridiculous too),no, now you are known to the world as a "recessionista." Ew.

I just don't understand why everyone in my life who is smart with their money and works hard, has to push through this economic mess and pay for other people's greed. I know life isn't fair, but whatever you can't trick me with your catchphrases. I know recession-proof really means, "Hey American public, buckle down so you can help the idiots who caused this mess." I shouldn't even comment on the current economy because even though I follow the news everyday, I still don't know how the hell this happened. I know I may sound bitter and no one wants to hear my white girl pain, but I also just graduated into the worst hell hole inferno economy in years. So yeah, I'm a little bitter.

So, you may be asking yourself why I named my blog after this brilliant phrase since I just complained about how much I hate it. The answer is simple: I like to think of myself as clever and "hip with the times." The economy might suck right now, but America can't take this blog away from me dammit. Unless a depression actually does occur, because who the hell is going to be able to afford a computer then? On that note: I am still jobless, living at home with my parents, and using their computer for free.

Loser? No. "Recession-Proof."